The Ranting Teenager is sorry for having been away so long

Ok, I had no better idea for a title. However, I am sorry. I've known about my inconstance since first grade, but unfortunately I am still ignoring it with all my might, thus starting things like blogs even though I should know that it is absolutely not what I should do.
Well, at least I'm trying.

And from today I will be constant. For real. I've used my sister's book of fairy spells and she says it works, so I am now absolutely super-constant!

And I have written a book! Ok, so it sucks. It doesn't have a plot, the characters are under-developed, and it contains nothing but a bunch of teen angst, but hey, it's a first novel, it isn't supposed to be good! (Or is it?)

So, posting is resumed!

Quote of the day

"Yes I am. I am a feminist. I reject wholeheartedly the way we are taught to perceive women. The beauty of women, how a woman should act or behave. Women are strong and fragile. Women are beautiful and ugly. We are soft spoken and loud, all at once. There is something min-controlling about the way we're taught to view women. My work, both visually and musically, is a rejection of all those things. And most importantly a quest. It's exciting because all of the avant-garde clothing, and musical style and lyrics that at one time was considered shocking or unacceptable are now trendy. Perhaps we can make women's rights trendy. Strength, feminism, security, the wisdom of the woman. Let' make that trendy."       -Lady Gaga.

From the Showstudio interview. Go Gaga!

Such beautiful eyes!

I have no idea why everyone on facebook is filling my wall with images of black kids with blue eyes, commenting on the children's beauty.

Anyway, while of couse I think the babies are beautiful, I can't help wondering why almost everyone's comments where centered on the beauty of the blue eyes. Not one comment on the skin or the hair; what makes this kid beautiful is the white characteristic, the light blue eyes.

These photos are usually posted in places saying how racism is bad- but really, the way they are viewed just perpetuates the idealization of ther white beauty model. Just paired with brown skin.

We see this in the fashion industry too, where almost all black models have white characteristics.

.

On Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga has recently declared in the Times interview that she is, in fact, a feminist.

I was surprised to see no buzz about this in the blogosphere, as there was a lot of it when she said that she wasn't. But bad is always noticed before good...or maybe not. No, most likely not, I would think.

Anyway, the textual quote is this:

“Do you know what that girl at the bar said to me?” she says, sipping her Scotch, and taking a single drag off a fag before handing it back. “She said, ‘You’re a feminist. People think it means man-hating, but it doesn’t.’ Isn’t that funny?”



Earlier in the day, conversation had turned to whether Gaga would describe herself as feminist or not. As the very best conversations about feminism often will, it had segued from robust declarations of emancipation and sisterhood (“I am a feminist because I believe in women’s rights, and protecting who we are, down to the core”) to musing on who she fancied. (“In the video to Telephone, the girl I kiss, Heather, lives as a man. And as someone who does like women, something about a more masculine woman makes me feel more… feminine. When we kissed, I got that fuzzy butterfly feeling.”)



We had concluded that it was odd most women “shy away” from declaring themselves feminists, because “it really doesn’t mean ‘man-hating’ ”.

I was really about to give a party after hearing this. I mean, I have always believed that Gaga is a feminist just by existing as Gaga, but hearing her say it gives me a warm sensation. After all, it's to her that half the conversations with my friends turn (all obsessed little monsters...) , so it's nice to see her taking strong stands. Just like when she spoke for gay rights and other such episodes. Most of her fans will follow.

Some would argue that Gaga's feminism is actually inexistent. She is a thin, hairless, blonde, white woman after all- and she acts sexy most of the time. She doesn't do much to defy traditional beauty standards.
Yet, the sexiness has to be there. It has been an essential part of pop music for far too much time to be completely eliminated. But it's not the only thing that's present.

This is just sexy for the sake of it.

This is something weird and subversive.

And, still in the Times interview, she said:

“ It’s not what straight men masturbate over when they’re at home watching pornography, it’s not for them. It’s for… us.”

And her music, her videos- even her twitter, all have pretty liberating meanings. Liberating for anyone who feels freaky, outcast or inadequate. Thus, pretty much for everyone.

Gaga is not really a person. Stefani was a person. Gaga is an image, and as such, she can be interpreted in countless ways.

But it's really hard to see her as just another pop star who will disappear in a couple of years. Probably it's just her genius marketing tecniques (giving fans a name can't hurt), or maybe something else that you can't really identify, an aura that she has created around herself  through everything she does. So intensely human yet strangely mithologic.

Or maybe it's just me, I don't know.

She inspires me, she gives me strength, so whatever I say about her can't be objective- not even a little bit.

Thus I will just shut up for the moment, since I guess that if I continue liking her so obsessively she will turn up casually in many other posts. xD

P.S. I don't know what to think about her comment on feeling more feminine with a masculine woman...?

The Ranting Teenager Randomly Muses.

Ok. The Ranting Teenager is going through an identity crisis and can't think clearly about anything.
Thus, she will talk in third person about herself because it feels very Gaga, and she will link you to a rant she read through a link on Feministing that reflects some of her thoughts:

Dear Eighth Grade Boys

So. Ranting Teenager doesn't quiet know what to think about casual touching. That is, when a guy goes up to a girl and grabs her ass/boobs, and laughs if she dares get offended about it. And says she's a slut when she doesn't.
That is obviously really unrespectful of the girl, of her body and her personal space. It is also normalized behavior that happens continuosly, every day, everywhere, and which everyone seems to think is nice & cute.

A classmate of  the Ranting Teenager's got mad at a guy who grabbed her butt. So she told the teacher about it, and he just said that she and the guy should keep quiet and listen.
Which is not the appropriate response to sexual harassing. A light form of sexual harassing, yes, but still.

On the other side, the Ranting Teenager funnily finds herself wanting a certain guy to touch her this way. This guy, let's call him B, has in fact bothered her very much with his previous touching around. So she had a couple of "talks" with him and he eventually stopped.
At which point Ranting Teenager regretted him stopping, but not really wanted him to start again.
So she got mad at herself for thinking in such weird ways, then found that being angry at oneself doesn't help at all. So she tried to explain her feelings.

But she couldn't.
She wondered if it could be love, then concluded it couldn't, because B didn't have one redeeming trait that could make her appreciate him. And besides, he was already classified as jerk because of his previous behavior.
She wondered if it could be simple physical attraction, but concluded it couldn't be that either, since B really really didn't fit her image of beauty.

Seeing as there was neither inner nor outer attraction, yet there was still desire to be touched, Ranting Teenager was left feeling very very confused.
Then she decided to dedicate herself to studying history, which was something she needed to do.
But since history was boring, and besides everyone has the same names in ancient Rome, she decided to go back to her blog, which she hadn't updated for a long time due to drought of ideas and inability to write, not to mention slow internet connection.

Thus she wrote this post which she is now contemplating cancelling, but which she will probably not cancel.
Also, she has discovered the greatness of Lady Gaga, who has stolen her soul. So The Ranting Teenager doesn't really exist now, she is just a Gagafied walking zombie who doen't know what to do.

Brava Giovanna!

So, this is supposed to be an ad for some paint. Evidently there's no way you can convince someone to buy some paint except by telling him "Hey, look, pretty girls! Painting! Buy the paint and you will get pretty girls painting! Wondering how? Never mind, just remember: paint = pretty girls, paint = pretty girls, paint = pretty girls...

Pressured to be pretty.

Yesterday I was eating an ice-cream at a bar, when I saw two stick-thin girls standing in front of me.
They were discussing about how many calories they had eaten today, and in the end they decided to to take a sugar-free diet ice-cream. They were wearing skinny jeans, tons of make-up and lots of jewellery.
What's so strange about that? You may ask. Well, nothing, if you exclude the fact that these girls must have been about 10 years old, if not less.

And the problem is, they are not the only children who spend their days trying to be as sexy as possible.
When I was in 5th grade I used to spend all my break time reading or playing tag or fairies. I didn't wear make-up, didn't read celebrity mags, didn't follow fashion. And that didn't make me very popular.
Once, a popular girl was excluded from the group because she liked too many boys. Evidently, that wasn't acceptable. I offered myself to be her friend, and she immediatly got on my case. I think she was trying to help, but I didn't appreciate it much. She wanted to make me fashionable, she said that with her help I'd no longer be an outcast. I hadn't even realized I was an outcast, actually, since I didn't care to be part of the popular group. Anyway, in her opinion changing me was easy. She had elaborated the 5-step plan below.

1. Straighten your hair. Curls are no longer fashionable.
2. Stop eating apples. They aren't fashonable at all. Chips are much better.
3. Every girl should have a bracelet.
4. Wear make-up. No-one wants to be a friend of a make up-less girl.
5. Act fashionable. Say hi with a sweet voice and look while leaning slighty back and twisting just a bit. That's very sexy. Speak sexily in a girly way. Don't read. Don't play with barbies.Wear cooler clothes and shoes.

She tried to "better" me in every way. I thought about it for a day then decided that I didn't want to become like one of the mean girls in the movies. So I stopped hanging out with her.

That was when I was ten. However, my decision to not spend my life being sexy couldn't last long. By the time I was twelve, I was desperate to earn the approval of the popular gals. I wanted to be pretty. But it was useless. Sexy girliness simply isn't in my DNA. I can't act sexy all the time. I can't style my hair each morning.

So I got kind of depressed and gave up, while all my friends- who previously liked playing with me in the woods- all started hanging out at the mall talking about boys, make-up, clothes and their wish to wear high heels. I didn't like it. I desperately tried to find a way out of it. I still wanted to be a kid.

Then I realized that the boys still played as much as they wanted. They always had. So I started playing with them instead, together with another girl who felt alienated from the rest. We played football. As girls, we had never played football before, while the boys had spent their entire lives doing so. Thus, we lost every time at first, but after a couple of months we learned. That made us feel very proud.

But it was hard, resisting the "you have to be pretty" expectation. I always had relapses, months in which I decided I would become "cool". I still do, even now, even after understanding all that was going on.

But the fact is, not everyone is as lucky as me.  I have always had the deep conviction since childhood that appearences don't matter. It has faltered at times, but it was always there.
Other girls don't. My sister is in 4th grade and has two girls in her class who refuse to eat because they are afraid of becoming fat. I saw her once staring sadly at the mirror and when I asked her what was making her sad she said she thought she was ugly.
I have tried to convince her that she is very beautiful, and that anyway wasn't what really mattered. I hope the point got across.

umm, no, not appropriate.

 It is sad enough when adult women spend all their time trying to be pretty and feel insecure about their appereance. But it just isn't fair to force it on little girls too.

How can the world understand that women are not just pretty sexual objects if women themselves don't understand it?
And how can they understand it, when the world is forcing them to believe that they are?
It's a sad circle. =(

My computer works again!!!

After days of almost total cutoff from technology, I feel pure joy when using a computer. MY computer, which now work again!! It works!! And does more than displaying porn!!

Hell, my computer has a virus. Now it appears I can do little with it other than watching porn, which is not an activity that I appreciate. =(

The 6th of April

Well, I should have blogged about this yesterday actually, but blame my stupid internet connection.

Last year, today was very different than today now. Today last year was the day after L'aquila's Earthquake.
For some strange coincidence, the day before it I was studying earthquakes , so when at three a.m. everything started to shake I was thinking: "Oh god, that's what comes out of studying too much...now I even dream of these things! Duh!"
But then I saw my mother shouting to get to the main columns, and hurry, come on! Oddly, the fact that there was a real earthquake going on stuck me as funny. It was strong. I could feel the walls and the ground trembling strongly with a huge roar all around and stuff falling down.
I told my mother and sister that we should not go down until it ended because the stairs would be the first things to crumble down. Not that my sister was listening much. 

As soon as it ended everyone rushed down the stairs, with the old lady downstairs saying:  "What? What's this? Ee-eeeh, I'm old, d'I have to do all these stairs! Four floors? Eh! Eh! I'm so lonely!"
Then we arrived on the streets, where lots of people sat in the little piazza near our house. There was a kid seriously worried about having left his goldfish in his house. He kept saying that he wanted it to his disgrunteled mother who was venting about her house having fallen down on her as she and her son run away.

By now I was beginning to think I was seriously sick, since I still found the whole situation kind of funny. And if not funny, kind of...normal. Not scary though. Evidently people around me didn't feel the same way.

We then went to a friend's house because my sister plainly refused to go back to our house. She didn't go back for about two weeks, in fact, except for one time-and that one time there was another earthquake, the left-over from the first one.

I stopped finding everything funny when they started elencating the deaths. A mother and her baby. 2. A student. 3. An old couple. 6.
The death toll quickly got longer. By morning we were at 227. Every now and then they announced someone else. We turned off the tv at some point, because listening to all the dead people isn't particularly pleasant and there was nothing else on.

At the end they got to 309. 309 deaths. Not many, if you consider how many die everyday from hunger, illness, and whatever other reasons, but still...

We lost about one month of school for that Earthquake, because it turned out most schools weren't safe. And you know, they only notice that after the earthquake. And there were teachers in mourning or in search of a new home and stuff.

It is very, very strange to think now about the way things were today last year. Everyone has forgotten and got on with their lives, which is good and all...but there are still people in L'aquila and around living in tents. Because the money meant to build the houses disappeared in thin air. And do you think the ones that have been built are actually safe? I have my doubts.

Dear old fascists...

That is what I have wish to say to the many budding fascists invading my life and facebook page. With their links such as "Benito Mussolini: a real man, the best one Italy has ever had." and groups like "For those who are tired of dirty immigrants-fascism forever!". Oh, and the scribbles I have to see on every wall every time I get out of the door? Not pleasant.

Recently a homeless man had his skull broken by a group of teenage boys. You'd think they'd be the ones to get in trouble. Well, you're wrong. He is now in prison, because he's an illegal immigrant. The guys are free to roam the streets happily getting rid of anyone whose race is not acceptable.

The Italian costitution has an article banning the reconstruction of groups supporting fascist ideology. Funny how right leaning parties can go about saying that non-Italian people ruin Italy, that sometimes violence is the only way to go and that women are the enemy. (And Bossi, a leader of a very right leaning group, really said these things.)

Women, trouble without solution. (The title of this nice, friendly article.)

TO BE CONTINUED

A case of "bullying"

Yes, I have been away for a long time. My computer is near death, and my internet time diminishes every day, so I don't usually have much time left for blogging.

*trigger alert*

Anyway, I read on the newspaper lately about a horrifying episode.
A twelve year old immigrant girl was forced to have oral sex with three of her classmates. The teacher was too busy listening to other students repeating the lesson near his desk to notice. He has been justified because he says that he practices a "friendly" method of teaching. He is so friendly he doesn't want to bother some kids raping their classmate. The other kids were standing around them to prevent the teacher from seeing.
Two girls did try to stop everything, but one of the guys told them to "go away, this is grown-up stuff." So they did.

The episode came out after one day, so the principal decided to suspend all the guilty for ten days. Including the raped girl. Because evidently being a victim or an abuser is the same thing.
The teacher was suspended too.
Reportedly, the girl's mother was disgusted and the father ashamed. The girl wrote a message to her parents saying that she was sorry for the horrible thing she had done and wanted to die.

All I can say now is: this is a really fucked up world we live in. Really. Because this is not an isolated case- 7th grade classrooms can indeed easily be used as places of tortures of any kind.

And you know what? These bully rapist kids will never understand the gravity of their actions. They may do it again...after all, it's her fault too, since she was punished with them.
The other kids will consider rape as something that "just happens", it happens at school just like someone stealing your lunch, it's okay, after all.

On Daisy

My cat, Daisy, has thrown herself from our balcony. From the fifth floor. Seriously. That cat is completely crazy. I guess she was following a bird or something, but maybe she just wanted to jump.

And she is not dead. Not even grossly deformed or anything. She has just broken her mouth. I struggle to find a sense in this, however, now everyone can know that falling from the fifth floor does not kill cats, it does't even break their legs, it only hurts their mouths.

I'm so glad she's ok now. My mom, who has always claimed to hate Daisy, was the one about to have a panic attack last night.

Suicidal cats will take over the world, IMO.

Snow and election posters

It has finally stopped snowing here. Snow storms are not likeable in March- especially not when I have to stay outside for two hours. This morning I was about to throw a party for the sun's return, when I saw the weather previsions saying that it's starting again tomorrow. Please let them be wrong!

Also, can someone please explain what do pretty (-18) girls have to do with elections?

(write mambo mambo YOU are)

And mambo. What has mambo got to do with elections? I know we're talking about the far right, but this is still wrong on so many levels.

It assumes the voter is a male who is attracted to the girls and thus votes the (male) candidate...because that way he thinks he will be able to dance mambo with pretty young girls?

I don't get it. There is no political message in this poster, just rampant sexism. Or maybe that's the message?

On a positive note, at least they're dressed. That's rare. Or maybe dressed girls are sexier?

Whoever invented it must think guys are really stupid.

Also, the writing makes no sense. I'm not sure "write mambo mambo YOU are" is even grammatically correct.

O.O

P.S. Oh god (or goddess, or nonexistent being, or something), please take that snow to the poles where it's much needed and don't let the ice melt there...we in our little town will give all our cold up for them.

Fornarina: Fabulous Legs.

In case you can't see it, it features a thin model getting on a bus, and everyone-boys and girls-staring at her beauty. In the end she sexily offers a guy an apple.
When I first saw it, I did notice it kind of bothered me. When I saw it for the second time, I understood why. Here is a list of reasons why this ad is weird and un-nice:

1. The idea of the woman as a temptress has always been present in mysoginistic societies. The woman temps, thus it is all her fault if men rape her...she has offered them the "apple" with her sexyyy legs.

2.Bitchez, aspire to have your body objecified and stared at by complete strangers. That is great flattery.

3.Notice that at some points in the video, a (thin, conventionally pretty) woman takes a photo of the model's butt and smiles...maybe so she can dream about having one like it.

4. A guy with a conventionally pretty woman stares at the model and the woman gets mad. Lesson: You are never pretty enough, because there will always be other women wanting to steal your place.

5.Usually when I go on buses there are sweaty "ugly" people speaking too loudly on the phone, shoving you around, grumbling...old people that make you stand up and give up your place, noisy little kids singing stupid songs, pimply teenage boys trying to me macho...which results in squeezing everyone and making everyone madder. I've never been on a bus with wind blowing in your hair, "beautiful" people all dressed the same, flowers, music and so much space. But maybe that's just me.

6. And what kind of masochist would want to get on a bus wearing high heels?

Hooray tv!

P.S. And besides, those jeans are being marketed TO girls. Not to men. Since when a good way to sell stuff to women is to objectify them?

Women's Day.

I don't like women's day.

No really, I don't.
It is mostly a completely useless thing, where people (and the media) ignore the fact that they were mysoginist all year long, tell woman that they are the most precious thing on this Earth, and then go back to being mysoginists until the next 8th of March.

It could be taken as an opportunity to raise awarness on the current situation of women. Even then, it wouldn't have helped much...it doesn't take one single day to change the thoughts of a population fed sexism every single day of their lives.
The fact is, though, at least in Italy, today is just another day full of hypocrisy and flowers and macho male strippers.

Yesterday another woman was killed by her husband.  Nothing but a small, unseen section on the last pages of a newspaper were given to her. Thousands of women have suffered violence today, and nobody has spoken about it.
All tv could say was: mimosas are beautiful flowers. Don't forget to say "I love you" to the women in your life by buying them some...even though they may bother you with their silly chatting and romantic movies, they are the most precious things we have.

Nice.

Happy women's day.

It seems that, no matter how much I'd want to, I just cannot manage to blog regularly.

These days my life is quiet a mess...so whatever post I could write would be totally self-centered and useless. However, I fully intend to get a decent idea between today and tomorrow- for now, I am going to sit on the sofa listening to sad music while half-mindedly analyzing my 103 phrases (which are far too many, IMO, but teachers don't realize this.) and feeling sorry for myself and for the fact that my period has a knack for arriving in the worst possible of times.
Bye.

Penis Emergency!!!!

Honestly, this is no joke. Il Corriere della Sera, a  famous right-wing newspaper, has written a Very Serious Article on a big problem of male youth these days.
And what fo you think this problem is? Health risks? Job security?
Why, what is this is just silly stuff, compared to the real, great problem of Shortening Penises!

Because, you see, all this pollution is making Italian men's penises shorter and their legs longer, making them: "increasingly similiar to women." The horror!
According to the article, penises are now 1 cm shorter than they were 60 years ago.
This is of course tragical. Because every Italian man should follow the example of our great premier:

Look at me! My legs are short but my penis is big! It's super active,  even with minor girls! I AM SO COOL! 

Should that fail to happen, the world as we know it is doomed.

Can't think of title, but something concerning gays and me arguing with an anti-gay guy.

It seems to be impossible for me to go for too long without having an argument.
Today I had a very irritating one with a friend, on gay rights and stuff. It took 30 whole minutes to achieve it, but in the end the guy aknowledged that, okay, he was wrong and I was right.
The conversation went something like this:

(C=the guy M=me)

C: That teacher's a gay bastard.
M: Don't use the word gay as an insult.
C: (rolls eyes) Again? Do you have to tell me that every single time I use gay as an insult?
M: Umm...YES.
C: But...why?
M:  (my turn to roll eyes) Because you using gay as an insult means that gayness is wrong and to be despised...and considering that gay people are actually despised-and despised is to say little-by many people, that's not very sensitive of you.
C: But being gay is wrong.
M: That's your close-minded hetero opinion.
C. I am not close minded!
M: (raise ayebrows) no?
C: God is against gays.
M: That's your close-mided, hetero, christian, right-winged opinion.
C: You make me seem like a monster. You know I'm not!
M: No?
C: (rolls eyes) Seriously, rantingteenager, imagine two men having sex. Imagine two women having sex. Now imagine a man and a woman having sex.
M: These images do not raise in me different reactions.
C:That't because you're weird!
M: That's because I'm not a bigot!
C: Are you gay?
M: I think not.
C: If gays weren't somehow wrong they wouldn't be discriminated, would they?
M: If blacks weren't somehow stupider they wouldn't have been enslaved, would they?
C: But gays can't have kids! Having sex is essentially for having kids...what's the point of having sex if you're gay?
M: So sterile people can't exist, can they? And what about people who just don't want to have children...you are saying that the only purpose of a person on Earth is to procreate.
C:Sterile women have been destined for other things.
M: There are sterile men too.
C: Whatever.
M: And besides, if god created gays himself, and god loves all his creatutures, god loves gays. It's basic logic.
C: But gayness can be cured.
M: Cures don't work. Find me evidence that they do.
C: They showed it on tv.
M: Of course. Tv never lies! And besides, if you are forced to hear people telling you constantly that your sexual orientation is so wrong, and telling you that curing it will make you right, at some point you'll get tired of it and say you're hetero.

It went along these lines, more or less.
It's frustating how this guy was completely drowning in his own privilege. He even tried to argue that if gays had equal rights they would take over the world. Seriously?
And that if children could see, say, gay superheroes, they would become gay too. Which doesn't explain why all homosexual people don't become heterosexual, since they see so many hetero superheroes.

Some people can be just so stupid.

Pro-Ana Websites

Have you ever visited a pro-ana website?

If you haven't, don't. It is simply horrifying. And it is just a taste of life as an anorexic...now try and imagine the real thing.
I had a friend who was anorexic. She used to study all day long in order to forget she was hungry, and she drunk litres and litres of water. She didn't even eat a little slice of pizza on her birthday.

And other people never tried to help her. They made fun of her. They told her: "You're crazy, girl!"
or: "Well just eat, my god, stop making so many stories!"
That didn't help.

It is understandable that in the real world anorexic people get little help, and the help they get they often reject, dismissing it as "trying to make me fat."

Is it better in the virtual world, then?
Can websites where fellow anorexics tell you that you have to get thin, GET THIN, and that your illness is actually a lifestyle, a religion, which you should proudly follow, be helpful?
Some say anorexics already think that way, and support groups decrease isolation and loneliness.

Others, like a commenter on this article, have different opinions:

 "Anyone who is pro ana deserves to die. YOU ALL RUIN LIVES. I am a twin who has lived with a sister who has a eating disorder that almost took her life and destroyed my family. How dare you make eating disorders a positive thing. Its a disease and you all are fucked in the head. I hate you selfish people. There is so many more important things in life besides being skinny. WAKE THE FUCK UP. Your wasting the life god gave you, and for that you will go to hell for. Your not striving to be thin your striving to die, and most of you will. I suggest you take control of your pathetic life and get your shit together. No man wants a fucking twig anyway its disgusting. Dont even bother talking back to me, I would snap your body with my fucking finger. If you all really want to lose weight then get of your lazy ass and eat healthy go work out, starving is the dumbest thing you can do. And who ever created this site you better wish we never meet in person for you are the fucking devil. F U C K Y O U."

Umm, not that I agree with such a comment, but my thoughts on pro-ana are really ambiguous.
I don't think ana creeds, like this one, help at all. Have a look:

 "Ana's creed: I believe in control, the only force mighty enough to bring onrder in the chaos that is my world.

I believe that I am the most vile, worthless an useless person ever have to existed on this planet, and that I am totally onworthy of anyone's time and attention.

I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds, as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.

I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.

I believe in salvation trough starvation.

I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of god, and memorise then accordingly.

I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily succeses and failures.

I believe in hell, cause sometimes I think I live in it.

I believe in a wholly black an withe world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the alonegation of the body and a life ever fasting. "

And from the same website, the ana commandments:

"Thin Commandments

1) If you aren't thin, you aren't attractive

2) Being thin is more important than being healthy

3) You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, anything to make yourself look thinner

4) Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty

5) Thou shall not eat fattening food withoud punishing afterwards

6) Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly

7) What the scale says is the most important thing

8) Losing weight is good, gaining weight is bad

9) You can never be too thin

10) Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and succes."

And try to read this. Really touching.
But it sounds as helpful as "you're crazy" to me!

 Beautiful?

On the other hand, there are a lot of pro-ana websites out there which offer REAL support. No thinspiration photos or starvation tips...just help on what anorexia means and how to deal with it. Now THAT sounds helpful.