Fairytale Remake: Snow White

Ok, today is Snow White’s turn to be re-made!




SNOW WHITE



Once upon a time there was a little girl called Snow White whose mother was dead (just for a change, you know.)

She lived happily with her father in a great beautiful castle, until the day he decided to get re-married.

The stepmother  she got was old and no longer beautiful, unlike Snow White who was young and still beautiful.

So the stepmother hated Snow White, because she had been taught to think that a woman’s greatest asset was beauty, and that all women where to be judged on solely that. Snow White’s beauty scared her, and since she probably suffered from some borderline personality disorder, she decided to kill her.

However, being a good and proper lady who will not manually undertake violent action, she sent another man-a hunter- to do the dirty work for her. For some reason, she also demanded that he bring her Snow White’s heart. (What did I say? Borderline personality disorder.)

But when the hunter went to kill Snow White, he found her rolling various objects down a hill. When he approached her, she showed him what she was studying, and how, and told him that she hoped to win the nobel prize in physics some day. He was fascinated by the subject., so he decided not to kill her, and gave the weird step-mother a lamb’s heart instead.

Snow White decided to ran away for safety, so she went into the woods where she met seven short and grumpy bachelors, the so-called dwarfs.

At first the dwarfs didn’t want to keep her, but once she learned that they worked in diamond mines she showed them how they could get diamonds in better and faster ways. Thankful for the help, they allowed her to stay with them and pay for food and lodging by working in the mines.



But one day the stepmother learned that Snow White wasn’t actually dead. No, it wasn’t that good daddy was worried and found her, he didn’t notice her disappearance, apparently. She found out through her magic mirror, which she had modified do that it could show her everything but herself, because she had self-image issues, as we know.

So the wicked stepmother decided to go kill Snow White herself ,by wearing a witch Halloween costume and giving Snow White a poisoned apple.

So Snow White fell in an enchanted sleep, from which she awakened with extreme annoyance in order to slap a prince who kissed her while unconscious.


Then she left the dwarves and went into the big city, where she decided to look for a better future and keep protecting herself from the stepmother until she died of old age.